How to knit a $94 neckwarmer (Free Pattern!)

plus a bit of ranting, because nothing is ever really free of payment in some form, is it? (If you are only reading this for the pattern skip to the end. )

It’s already been established that I’ve turned into a intermittent blogger. I’d apologize for it, but I assure you I’ve had nothing to stay that would justify making you stop by. I think that’s better blogger etiquette than wasting your time. I can’t even blame Ravelry, as NaBloPoMo established that I’m perfectly capable of daily posting if need be, though I don’t think my November posts were particularly special. That links to my NaBloPoMo profile page which I neglected to fill out. (Isn’t the whole point to put that stuff on my blog, if anywhere?) I even forgot to post my nifty badge.

That seems a bit needlessly churlish, but it was this, the doughboy, the cat, spend another half-hour perusing links for a badge or make my own, so, churlish it is. I completed NaBloPoMo successfully. It’s more than I can say for the previous years where I unsuccessfully tried my hand at NaNoWriMo. I have to admit the whole thing was a bit anti-climactic. I’m extremely glad to not have to type the word “NaBloPoMo” again. I don’t know if it speaks to the difference between blog writers and other types of writers and how they choose their words but the word doesn’t stick in the mind or roll off the tongue nearly as well as NaNoWriMo. Anyway, challenge met.

As always when I return after not posting for awhile, I’ll attempt to buy your attention with a peace offering. There has been much talk recently about the value of handicrafts from debates in several forums to articles in the New York Times both critical (not in bad way) and more fawning. Actually it’s probably not all that recent, it’s just something I’ve been paying attention to since I learned to knit and started talking to people about it on the internet. This may be tiresomely old news to you. I’m nearly tired of it after only a year. Every once in a while someone in a forum or on a blog will post a link to an item it is priced above $10. Much discussion will ensue about whether said item is worth said price. The cost of manufacturing will be analyzed, the value of work will be discussed and many people will make claims that this or that person is over or underpaid. The history of labor, feminist theory, the industrial revolution, and class analysis will come up if the conversation is a good one. The sentimental value of an object will be assessed and for some of us a PITA* tax will be levied. Of course, there’s the old capitalist standby that you should charge whatever the market will bear.

A recent posting placed the neckwarmer, pictured above and currently being offered at Martha Stewart’s website, up to the “Is it worth it?” microscope. Amongst a community of knitters the overwhelming response was a resounding NO! and several “this is like comparing apples and oranges”. There were however, a few who believe that this attitude contributed to the current climate which tends to devalue knitted goods and handmade crafts in general.

I agree that many handicrafters (I seriously can’t think of a less corny name at the moment, sorry about that) are guilty of devaluing their work whether or not they actually ever assign a price to it. As I mentioned in that forum, I consider what I do to be priceless. That’s not because I consider myself to be Da Vinci, but I don’t think a proper price can really be placed on what the objects I make mean to me. When offering an item for sale though, priceless is not practical and a formula that takes in to account the time, labor and materials used etc., must be devised to determine worth. I’ve seen a lot of formulas for determining this ranging from the sensible to the “only makes sense if you’ve been smoking weed” variety. I’ll leave it to you to decide if you think this neckwarmer is worth $94. I personally wouldn’t pay that much, but I don’t see any reason not to offer it for that price if people are willing to pay it. I suspect Martha Stewart’s marketing people know a little something about how to sell things and what the market will bear, so I’ll bow to their judgement and experience on this one. Who am I to argue with a multimillion dollar enterprise?

In the midst of this rousing discussion a newbie knitter ventured in and asked where one could find a pattern to make this neckwarmer that was the object of so much derision and alternately hailed as the symbol of the humble knitter’s right to earn a buck. In all seriousness, and with quite a bit of earnestness to boot, which I admit I thought took some balls as this was clearly not a friendly audience being addressed. It had the additional effect of boosting the argument that the knowledge of how to make a neckwarmer like this certainly has some intrinsic value, though many of us who have the skill take it for granted. After all, it’s a stockinette tube.

I’d been planning to offer a Holiday pattern anyway this year, and as the pattern I had planned is not ready -yeah, I know you’re shocked to hear that- I thought this would be a reasonable substitute. Or addition, if I ever finish that other pattern. Stop laughing.

So I now present you with my pattern (recipe, really) for How To Make a $94 Neckwarmer written for that fearless knitting newbie and shared with anyone who may be in the similar position of really wanting to warm their neck with a stockinette tube if only they could find a way for under $94 and had a little guidance. Some advice about how to sell said warmer thrown in for good measure.

The $94 Neckwarmer recipe

1. Measure your head circumference. We’ll call that measurement X units (cm, inches whatever you use).
2. Measure your stitch gauge for that unit with whatever yarn you have on hand. If you want to try and justify your markup you can go buy something expensive, but it really doesn’t matter. We’ll call the number of stitches per unit Y.
3. Multiply X times Y. We’ll call that Z.
4. To knit in the round, cast on Z stitches. (If knitting flat, skip to knitting flat instruction #1).
5. Join ends being careful not to twist the cast on row.
6. Knit to desired length. The length from your shoulders to the top of your head is a good guide.
7. Bind off and weave in ends.
8. Find sucker to buy your tube. I’d recommend a non-knitter as most knitters will laugh at you unless they are a knitter with disposal income and no time to even look for a better deal.

Flat knitting variation:

1. Cast on Z stitches plus 2. These 2 selvedge stitches will be used for the seam.
2. Knit to desired length. The length from your shoulders to the top of your head is a good guide.
3. Seam up sides using mattress stitch.
4. Bind off and weave in ends.
5. See previous note about sucker.

Copyright © phoenix 2007. All rights reserved.

So here you go, free to anyone who reads this blog (or the forum thread I posted it in).  Please note that these are instructions for a tube in stockinette stitch. For anything more elaborate, I really must insist that I get paid. I had considered offering it for $10 as is but I was struck by the holiday spirit.  Furthermore, this pattern has not been tested, except by the collective knitting wisdom of knitters from the dawn of the craft. If I had to hire actual test knitters do you really think I’d be offering this pattern for free? 

I am kidding, but only a little.  It’s unlikely I’d ever charge for such a pattern unless I was raising money for charity.  I wouldn’t do so because I feel this is information that is easy available and  is worth sharing without monetary compensation the same way I wouldn’t charge to teach someone how to tie a shoe.  I’m not quite that mercenary despite my protesting pocketbook.  That’s not to say that the information has no value at all.  If I wrote that pattern up with pictures, diagrams, definition and explanation of terms like stockinette and descriptions of ways to cast on and bind off, that pattern would have even more value.  If I added some discussion about yarn types and gauge, the value of the information goes still higher. It would also take me more time to develop.  At a certain point I could have invested enough in writing a pattern for that stockinette tube, that I might even be able to make an argument for selling it for $10.  

As I mentioned, I posted the free version of my pattern to the thread . Right on cue, someone asked if it’s possible to copyright a stockinette tube. Actually they asked if they could copywrite it, which is something else entirely, and not what I think they meant. However, as I’m prone to the occasional typo and grammatical error myself and as I know most people are not editors and don’t have their english teachers proofing their writing, I wasn’t about to get all self-righteous and picky about it. Except the question comes up so often it actually grates on my nerves to read it even though it’s not an unreasonable question. To be honest my post started out as something of a joke, but now I’m totally letting the copyright stand to make a point.

Look, I don’t claim to be an expert on copyright and I probably only know enough to be dangerous. Anyway, please note that I am not claiming to copyright the tube, merely the instructions. For what I understand of copyright law, this is what you are doing when you copyright a pattern. You are copyrighting the words, diagrams, illustrations, photos everything that makes up the pattern itself. You are not claiming to have been the only person ever to think of an idea, just the person who presented it a certain way. You are claiming ownership of your words, labour, materials and efforts in writing the pattern. It makes sense to me, but a surprising number of people have difficulty with the concept. I have a lot of theories about that, though I don’t think I’ll be sharing those here. I’m not making any claim to having invented stockinette tubes, knit and purl stitches, knitting as a technique or the english language. I did however, make that pattern up all by myself. And shared it with you. If you don’t like mine, write your own and use your own words, not mine. It really is a simple concept. It’s also not a copyright issue, it’s a plagiarism issue, but that’s another discussion and can of worms.

I’ll admit copyright is not a simple issue, for a discussion on the subject contact a lawyer who specializes in it. Here’s some links to copyright facts and actual informed opinions.

The U.S. Copyright Office

Creative Commons Licenses

Crochet Patterns, Knitting Patterns and Copyright Law

Copyright FAQ for Knitters

Copyright for Crafters 

That can at least take care of some of the simpler questions. If copyright interests you, but you don’t really know much about it, I would strongly encourage you to read those links and other sources that have some actual facts about copyright and not the ridiculous myths that get parroted about as fact. For instance, if someone tells you that if you change X percentage of a pattern you can call it your own, run away from them. Actually, point them to those links first, then run away and stop talking to them until they gain some deeper knowledge because ignorance is catching and I’d be very sad to see it catch you.

Frankly I’d give up any claims of copyright altogether if I could get a dollar every time someone asked “What makes a design original, anyway?”, “What does it mean to be a designer? , “What is this item actually worth?” or any similar questions that make the rounds on forums practically daily. If I could get a dollar for that, I wouldn’t need a day job, a winning lottery ticket, a good run at the casino, or a dead, rich relative. I’d just sit back and let the money roll in. And spend my time trying to finding a way to patent my system to maintain my ability to make a profit. A patent of course being different than copyright. You can look that up too.

 

*This photo has been lifted from the marthastewart.com website © 2007 Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. All rights reserved, and used for a product review, which I believe falls under the terms of fair use. The photoshop manipulation is mine and are done in the spirit of parody, which I also believe is covered and permitted within the bounds of copyright law. I consider that type of thing fun. If you click through to the Martha Stewart website and buy something, make sure to tell them I sent you. Hopefully they won’t sue me that way. But I really don’t think copyright works like that anyway. I could of course be wrong.  In which case I’ll take the picture down because it’s not like I’ll have a choice.

**Pain in the ass (though in this case a B.S. - bored stiff - tax might be more applicable)